I close my eyes
And all I see is the sunset and the river,
And I feel the dam.
All I hear is your laugh,
And I can feel your small hands
Stroking mine,
Like you love to feel them.
Sometimes,
You want something so bad,
You can't close your eyes
Because its absence haunts you.
I want to see you.
To hear your singing laughter,
To feel your soft, smooth skin,
To smell your bubblegum shampoo,
And kiss you on the forehead.
Because
It's the only way I ever learned to say
Anything at all.
So why is it?
That when I close my eyes,
And I hear your laugh,
And I see your smile,
Pink
And your sad stare outward—
When like me (I could tell)
You were looking forward
To the end—
Why is it a torture?
These vivid memories
Like pictures that will fade.
Like water
Spilling over
My gasping, gaping mouth.
It's been two years now,
And the mouth is still breathing.
There are torrents of rain some days,
And dying plants remember
What it was like to once be green.